Some people crochet to relax.

Some people crochet because apparently stabbing yarn repeatedly with a hook is frowned upon when you substitute literally anything else.

Welcome to the Grumpy Hookers Guild, where the yarn stash is unreasonable, the project count is none of your business, and asking when we're going to finish that blanket is a good way to get yourself removed from the premises.

This one is for crocheters who love the craft but aren't interested in pretending every stitch is a precious little journey of joy. Sometimes you're counting stitches under your breath. Sometimes you're frogging two hours of work. Sometimes you're staring at a pattern wondering which lying bastard decided that counted as "easy."

And sometimes you just want to crochet in peace.

Perfect for crochet nights, craft groups, yarn shopping, weekends at home, or anywhere fellow hookers gather to complain about tangled yarn and enable each other's completely reasonable need for seventeen more skeins.

It also makes a funny gift for crocheters, crafty friends, crochet buddies, moms, grandmas, sisters, and anyone who knows hooker is a perfectly respectable title when there's yarn involved.

Grumpy Hookers Guild. Membership dues payable in yarn and profanity.