Santa’s done flying around the world, squeezing down chimneys that haven’t been cleaned since the Clinton administration, and pretending he enjoys your kid’s off-brand cookies. Now he’s in your kitchen, beer in hand, eyes dead as fruitcake, declaring the only truth that matters this December: Ho Ho Holy Fuck, I Need a Drink!

Hang it up while you’re stress-cooking, hiding from relatives, or wiping up the evidence of your third “eggnog” refill. It dries dishes, mops spills, and silently judges your life choices—exactly like Santa himself.

Perfect for the host who’s one more “Can you make Grandma’s recipe?” away from faking a sleigh malfunction. Hang it, toast with it, cry into it. Whatever gets you to January.

.: Cotton Twill Fabric
.: One size: 18" × 30" (45.72cm × 76.2cm )
.: One-sided print
.: Lightweight