{"product_id":"department-of-metabolic-affairs-ceramic-mug-11oz-15oz-your-metabolism-has-been-reassigned","title":"Department of Metabolic Affairs Ceramic Mug (11oz, 15oz) | Your Metabolism Has Been Reassigned","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"372\" data-end=\"548\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"387\" data-end=\"428\"\u003eDepartment of Metabolic Affairs (DMA)\u003c\/strong\u003e, where every calorie now requires additional approval and your metabolism has officially accepted a position elsewhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"816\"\u003eFeaturing the official \u003cstrong data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"608\"\u003eDepartment of Metabolic Affairs\u003c\/strong\u003e seal and the department's painfully relatable motto, \u003cstrong data-start=\"662\" data-end=\"704\"\u003e\"Your Metabolism Has Been Reassigned,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e this ceramic mug is for anyone who's noticed that foods they once considered snacks now come with consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"818\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"850\"\u003e11 oz and 15 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e sizes, this durable ceramic mug is built for coffee, tea, and whatever low-calorie beverage helps soften the realization that your metabolism has apparently retired without notice. Dishwasher and microwave safe because your mug still performs exactly as expected, even if your body's internal processing department has become... less efficient.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1197\" data-end=\"1461\"\u003eWhether you're embracing middle age with humor, surviving another Monday, or rewarding yourself after a workout that burned approximately half a cookie, this mug reminds you that you're in good company. The Department of Metabolic Affairs has a very full caseload.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1476\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1476\"\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1477\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"84yibz\" data-start=\"1477\" data-end=\"1513\"\u003eAvailable in 11 oz and 15 oz sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"iz9uge\" data-start=\"1514\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eDurable ceramic construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"x2wcht\" data-start=\"1545\" data-end=\"1576\"\u003eDishwasher and microwave safe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"15saymu\" data-start=\"1577\" data-end=\"1649\"\u003ePrinted with the official Department of Metabolic Affairs (DMA) emblem\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"13w0xgg\" data-start=\"1650\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003ePerfect for coffee, tea, and fueling another day of negotiating with your metabolism\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1738\" data-end=\"1812\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1738\" data-end=\"1769\"\u003eOfficial Department Notice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1769\" data-end=\"1772\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1812\"\u003eYour Metabolism Has Been Reassigned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":52114280874204,"sku":"28050042136617536692","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":52114280906972,"sku":"25218445867124761714","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/17153402246124156712_2048.jpg?v=1787083478","url":"https:\/\/2sbsnarkshop.com\/products\/department-of-metabolic-affairs-ceramic-mug-11oz-15oz-your-metabolism-has-been-reassigned","provider":"2SB Snark Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}