{"title":"Funny T-Shirts | Sarcastic Graphic Tees","description":"\u003cp\u003eMake a statement without saying a word. Our \u003cstrong\u003eFunny T-Shirt Collection\u003c\/strong\u003e features original graphic tees packed with sarcasm, dark humor, country sass, and unapologetic personality. Whether you're looking for a shirt that gets laughs, starts conversations, or perfectly sums up your mood, you'll find it here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned for comfort and made to last, our unisex T-shirts are perfect for everyday wear, weekend adventures, concerts, road trips, backyard barbecues, or simply surviving another day of dealing with people. From clever one-liners and hilarious graphics to western-inspired humor and bar-worthy jokes, every design is created for those who appreciate wit over small talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese funny graphic tees also make unforgettable gifts for birthdays, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas, or anyone whose sense of humor is just a little bit questionable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBrowse our collection of \u003cstrong\u003efunny T-shirts, sarcastic graphic tees, humorous shirts, novelty apparel, country humor shirts, and witty gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e to find the perfect design that fits your personality. Life's too short to wear boring shirts, and there are already enough boring people walking around.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"angry-badger-go-away-t-shirt-for-when-you-re-out-of-coffee-and-patience-gift-for-coworkers-and-friends","title":"Go Away Coffee Badger Unisex T-Shirt | Funny Sarcastic Coffee Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"355\"\u003eSome people wake up ready to greet the world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"357\" data-end=\"411\"\u003eOther people need coffee and significantly less world.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"761\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"417\" data-end=\"442\"\u003eGo Away Coffee Badger\u003c\/strong\u003e understands that simply holding a cup of coffee should not be interpreted as an invitation to start talking. Featuring an angry badger clutching a mug with the beautifully straightforward message \u003cstrong data-start=\"639\" data-end=\"653\"\u003e“Go Away,”\u003c\/strong\u003e this design is for anyone who prefers to establish conversational boundaries before things get out of hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"901\"\u003eNo complicated signals. No awkward small talk. No pretending you're delighted someone decided to stop by your desk at 8:07 in the morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003eJust a badger, some coffee, and a reasonable request for everyone to maintain a respectful distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1189\"\u003ePerfect for coffee runs, workdays, errands, school drop-off, weekend mornings, travel, family gatherings, or anywhere you may encounter people who haven't yet learned to read the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1191\" data-end=\"1376\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for coffee lovers, sarcastic friends, coworkers, teachers, parents, and anyone who considers \u003cstrong data-start=\"1311\" data-end=\"1324\"\u003e“Go Away”\u003c\/strong\u003e less of an insult and more of a helpful suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1378\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1378\" data-end=\"1445\"\u003ePlease 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border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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data-end=\"273\"\u003eFuck Off Coffee Badger\u003c\/strong\u003e is here for anyone who understands that coffee isn't necessarily going to improve your attitude. It may simply provide enough caffeine to tolerate the fact that other people exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"456\" data-end=\"762\"\u003eFeaturing one thoroughly pissed-off badger clutching a coffee cup that says \u003cstrong data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"547\"\u003e“Fuck Off,”\u003c\/strong\u003e this design is basically your morning mood rendered in wildlife form. No inspirational message. No cheerful reminder to seize the day. Just caffeine, boundaries, and a badger who appears to have already had enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"764\" data-end=\"965\"\u003eWear it for coffee runs, casual Fridays, errands, weekend mornings, family gatherings, or anywhere people have an unfortunate habit of attempting conversation before you've decided you're ready for it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"967\" data-end=\"1155\"\u003eIt also makes a beautifully inappropriate gift for coffee lovers, sarcastic friends, grumpy coworkers, morning-haters, and anyone whose preferred breakfast conversation is absolutely none.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1157\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1157\" data-end=\"1195\"\u003eCoffee first. 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preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"471\" data-end=\"666\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"471\" data-end=\"494\"\u003eBee Kind of a Bitch\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who believes you can be a decent human being without becoming everybody's personal doormat. Be thoughtful. Be generous. Give people the benefit of the doubt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"704\"\u003eBut when the situation calls for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"706\" data-end=\"725\"\u003eAdjust accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"727\" data-end=\"923\"\u003eThis is for the sweet-with-a-limit crowd. The people who will happily help a friend, compliment a stranger, rescue the bug, return the shopping cart, and generally try not to make the world worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"925\" data-end=\"980\"\u003eRight up until somebody mistakes kindness for weakness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"982\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003eThen we have options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003eWear it to work, brunch, errands, girls' weekends, family gatherings, or anywhere your pleasant disposition might otherwise give people unrealistic expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1168\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for best friends, sisters, moms, coworkers, and anyone who manages to be genuinely kind while maintaining a healthy capacity for \u003cstrong data-start=\"1324\" data-end=\"1351\"\u003eabsolutely fucking not.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003eBee kind. Just not defenseless.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1353\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Aqua \/ S","offer_id":47533732200668,"sku":"33173242568556605460","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ 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L","offer_id":47533732462812,"sku":"13856240968441534799","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ L","offer_id":47533732495580,"sku":"32154197352669415645","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":47533732528348,"sku":"22241129318803679335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47180649922780,"sku":"24925041762142740343","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Prism Ice Blue \/ L","offer_id":47533732561116,"sku":"14554375495087830038","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aqua \/ XL","offer_id":47533732593884,"sku":"36516516856520106146","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ XL","offer_id":47533732626652,"sku":"19070601310772381996","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":47533732659420,"sku":"33195640824156692544","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Prism Ice Blue \/ XL","offer_id":47533732692188,"sku":"16038501760066150902","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Asphalt \/ 2XL","offer_id":47533732724956,"sku":"62779564065319067640","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":47533732757724,"sku":"79650518242386370827","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":47533660635356,"sku":"25828233025029245273","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":47533661257948,"sku":"25647518778724880533","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/1787963460044766032_2048.jpg?v=1786558509"},{"product_id":"grumpy-fuckers-club-lifetime-member-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Grumpy Fuckers Club Unisex T-Shirt | Funny Sarcastic Grumpy Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"124\" data-end=\"165\"\u003eMembership isn't something you apply for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"167\" data-end=\"246\"\u003eEventually, life just wears you down enough that you're automatically enrolled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"248\" data-end=\"482\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"286\"\u003eGrumpy Fuckers Club\u003c\/strong\u003e, where patience is limited, tolerance for bullshit is even lower, and we've all reached the age where being called grumpy feels less like an insult and more like recognition for years of service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"484\" data-end=\"818\"\u003eThis shirt is for people who have opinions, boundaries, and absolutely no interest in pretending everything is delightful. You've dealt with enough stupid questions, unnecessary meetings, terrible drivers, loud chewers, malfunctioning technology, and people who somehow stop their shopping carts in the exact middle of the damn aisle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"820\" data-end=\"845\"\u003eYou're not in a bad mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"883\"\u003eYou've simply been paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"885\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003eWear it to work, the bar, family gatherings, weekend errands, neighborhood cookouts, or anywhere your facial expression could use a little written clarification.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1048\" data-end=\"1235\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for sarcastic friends, coworkers, spouses, siblings, parents, and anyone who has earned full membership through decades of dealing with nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"513\" data-end=\"601\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1237\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1237\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003eGrumpy Fuckers Club. You've earned your membership.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 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Whether you’re tired of slow traffic, annoying neighbors, or just want to let everyone know you run on farm time and zero tolerance — this shirt says it all without saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eGreat for farmers, tractor lovers, rural folks, and anyone who appreciates dark farm humor. Makes an excellent funny gift for dads, husbands, or your favorite tractor driver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, premium unisex jersey short sleeve tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHigh-quality, vibrant graphic print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComfortable for everyday wear or farm days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold red tractor design that stands out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\" style=\"white-space-collapse: preserve;\"\u003eLet them know you’ve got 400 horsepower and very little patience. 🚜\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; 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solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 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My last fuck just flew the coop.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"900\"\u003eThis one is for anyone who has officially exceeded their daily allowance of bullshit and will no longer be pretending otherwise. The patience is gone. The concern has departed. Whatever happens next will have to proceed without your emotional participation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"902\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003ePerfect for workdays that have gone completely off the rails, family gatherings that should have ended two hours ago, errands involving the general public, or simply reaching that glorious stage of life when you realize not every problem deserves to become \u003cem data-start=\"1159\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003eyour\u003c\/em\u003e problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1176\" data-end=\"1356\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for sarcastic friends, coworkers, moms, sisters, chicken keepers, and anyone who has finally mastered the deeply underrated art of \u003cstrong data-start=\"1334\" data-end=\"1355\"\u003enot giving a fuck\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1358\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003eYou cared.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1370\" data-end=\"1380\"\u003eYou 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color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid 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Black","offer_id":48882226823388,"sku":"33741329110970434128","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Deep Heather","offer_id":48882226856156,"sku":"16545574456147754590","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather True Royal","offer_id":48882226888924,"sku":"10101114745224024671","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":48882226921692,"sku":"24144341536870958772","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":48882226954460,"sku":"21439730529236172548","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sage","offer_id":48882226987228,"sku":"68875337467739515041","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":48882227019996,"sku":"20419832329330022765","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Deep 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I'm Fabulous Funny Chicken T-Shirt | Sassy Silkie Chicken Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"329\" data-end=\"369\"\u003eNot everyone is going to appreciate you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"371\" data-end=\"413\"\u003eThat sounds remarkably like their problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"415\" data-end=\"578\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"415\" data-end=\"443\"\u003eCluck Off! I’m Fabulous!\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has reached the point where other people's opinions have been reviewed, considered, and promptly returned to sender.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"580\" data-end=\"691\"\u003eToo loud? Too much? Too opinionated? Too old for that? Not dressed appropriately? Should probably tone it down?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"703\"\u003eCluck off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"705\" data-end=\"900\"\u003eThis is for the gloriously unbothered. 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style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 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Guild\u003c\/strong\u003e, where the yarn stash is unreasonable, the project count is none of your business, and asking when we're going to finish that blanket is a good way to get yourself removed from the premises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one is for crocheters who love the craft but aren't interested in pretending every stitch is a precious little journey of joy. Sometimes you're counting stitches under your breath. Sometimes you're frogging two hours of work. Sometimes you're staring at a pattern wondering which lying bastard decided that counted as \"easy.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd sometimes you just want to crochet in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for crochet nights, craft groups, yarn shopping, weekends at home, or anywhere fellow hookers gather to complain about tangled yarn and enable each other's completely reasonable need for seventeen more skeins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for crocheters, crafty friends, crochet buddies, moms, grandmas, sisters, and anyone who knows \u003cstrong\u003ehooker\u003c\/strong\u003e is a perfectly respectable title when there's yarn involved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGrumpy Hookers Guild. 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10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd 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Then they wander off to eat something you just paid entirely too much money for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"1173\"\u003eThis one's for backyard chicken keepers, homesteaders, farm people, and anyone who has stood at the feed-store register wondering how a handful of ridiculous feathered freeloaders developed a grocery budget larger than their own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1175\" data-end=\"1304\"\u003eWear it for coop chores, feed runs, farm life, errands, or anywhere someone is doing something stupid enough to deserve the look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1306\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for chicken moms, chicken dads, homesteaders, backyard flock keepers, and that friend who can calculate the price of an egg but has wisely chosen not to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1555\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1555\"\u003eThe feed bill is outrageous. 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10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1555\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1488\" data-end=\"1555\"\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337056988,"sku":"19795982481276414394","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337089756,"sku":"11469887001329355872","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337122524,"sku":"25017913698188240861","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337155292,"sku":"31520145541212482496","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337188060,"sku":"16208517157607618814","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337220828,"sku":"30519863600325054342","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337253596,"sku":"16750214762677483851","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337286364,"sku":"19546313983416814359","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337319132,"sku":"36998673856505922959","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337351900,"sku":"28494601104714876329","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337384668,"sku":"19217272722426966706","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337417436,"sku":"89373206876505511365","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337450204,"sku":"13157157864523007665","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337482972,"sku":"23567615608838141171","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337515740,"sku":"17113792449080548960","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337548508,"sku":"96632925333085322747","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337581276,"sku":"27801235516182254120","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337614044,"sku":"42692808124216487650","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337646812,"sku":"37199730430534828558","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337679580,"sku":"19084729813830724180","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337712348,"sku":"10946445727313713440","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337745116,"sku":"12327548970581710599","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337777884,"sku":"43710090193652188894","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337810652,"sku":"97158535783723019667","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Pebble Brown","offer_id":50110337843420,"sku":"21932671236762200365","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Stone","offer_id":50110337876188,"sku":"61921215327701753812","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Vintage White","offer_id":50110337908956,"sku":"11648568781483293777","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Cool Grey","offer_id":50110337941724,"sku":"14054224332446944715","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/8949339641172702738_2048.jpg?v=1786560258"},{"product_id":"toaster-bath-tuesday-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee","title":"Toaster Bath Tuesday Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee","description":"\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"wy98n8\" data-start=\"215\" data-end=\"273\"\u003eEmbrace the Chaos with the Toaster Bath Tuesday Shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"275\" data-end=\"454\"\u003eYou know that moment when it’s only Tuesday and you’re already questioning every life choice that led you here? Yeah. That’s the entire vibe of the \u003cstrong data-start=\"423\" data-end=\"453\"\u003eToaster Bath Tuesday Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"456\" data-end=\"725\"\u003eThis design is cute at first glance—like “aww look at the happy little toaster”—and then it hits you… oh. OH. Yep. That tracks. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"588\" data-end=\"618\"\u003eToaster Bath Tuesday Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e is basically a wearable coping mechanism for people who are one mildly annoying email away from losing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"727\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eSoft, lightweight, and actually comfortable enough to live in (because let’s be honest, you’re not getting dressed up for this week anyway), this tee has that easy, worn-in feel with a fit that doesn’t fight you. Throw it on with jeans, leggings, or whatever you found on the floor this morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1024\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003ePerfect for burnt-out adults, corporate survivors, and anyone whose sense of humor leans a little dark and a lot honest, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1149\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003eToaster Bath Tuesday Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e says what you’re thinking—without you having to say a damn word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1246\" data-end=\"1361\"\u003eWear it to work. Wear it to the store. Wear it while aggressively ignoring your responsibilities. No judgment here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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repair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe knees make noises. The back has developed opinions. Sleeping wrong is now a legitimate injury, and getting off the floor requires considerably more planning than getting down there did.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNaturally, you've contacted the Department about these issues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClaim denied.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Warranty Claims\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone discovering that the human body apparently came with a limited warranty and absolutely nobody saved the paperwork. Replacement parts may be required. Routine maintenance is increasingly important. Recovery times have been extended without notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd whatever you did in your twenties without consequences is no longer covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to work, the gym, weekend projects, family gatherings, doctor's appointments, or anywhere somebody makes the mistake of asking why you just made that noise when you stood up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny 40th birthday gift, milestone birthday gift, or everyday reminder for friends, coworkers, spouses, siblings, and anyone whose factory warranty has officially run out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Department has reviewed your claim.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnfortunately, you're going to have to live with it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52100307779804,"sku":"28417293955950144246","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52100307812572,"sku":"27102646474207703648","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52100307845340,"sku":"14319089919354122049","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52100307878108,"sku":"21895424910651018854","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52100307910876,"sku":"20867145151514020335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52100307943644,"sku":"24670937264604569781","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52100307976412,"sku":"23486544811231287409","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":52100308009180,"sku":"29027361139801919021","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52100308041948,"sku":"23033134443200757064","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52100308074716,"sku":"14925468611422468768","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52100308107484,"sku":"31398486791764885719","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":52100308140252,"sku":"25664057368699419272","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52100308173020,"sku":"10759555871998961395","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52100308205788,"sku":"27241264114567346160","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52100308238556,"sku":"27345503816038675772","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52100308271324,"sku":"16075003829233014472","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52100308304092,"sku":"33651168767303507284","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52100308336860,"sku":"23276368406876357075","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52100308369628,"sku":"84881367718625328617","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52100308402396,"sku":"97838687638840334963","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52100308435164,"sku":"91211094171277588788","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52100308467932,"sku":"23262524867346756174","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52100308500700,"sku":"87232040655724417807","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/16200519162279196111_2048.jpg?v=1786561676"},{"product_id":"department-of-adulting-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-participation-was-never-optional","title":"Department of Adulting Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | Participation Was Never Optional","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Adulting\u003c\/strong\u003e, where the paperwork never ends, the bills arrive with alarming consistency, and somehow you're expected to know what temperature to wash towels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThis shirt is your unofficial employee uniform for surviving taxes, laundry, appointments, grocery lists, and all the other exciting benefits that absolutely no one explained in childhood. Whether you're checking off your to-do list or simply pretending to have your life together, this tee lets everyone know you're a fully enrolled member of the world's least exclusive department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eMade from a soft, lightweight jersey fabric with a comfortable unisex fit, it's perfect for coffee runs, school pickups, hardware store emergencies, and those thrilling weekends spent comparing vacuum cleaners. Because apparently that's who we are now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, breathable jersey fabric for everyday comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex fit that works for just about everyone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesigned for people who pay bills before buying fun things\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMakes an excellent gift for new homeowners, recent graduates, parents, coworkers, or anyone wondering when the \"real adults\" are supposed to arrive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOfficial Department Notice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eParticipation was never optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThe official uniform for everyone reluctantly employed by the Department of Adulting. Soft, comfortable, and perfect for navigating bills, responsibilities, and the endless stack of life's paperwork with a healthy dose of sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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corporate survivors, project teams, and anyone who has perfected the professional facial expression required when someone says, \u003cem\u003e“Before we wrap up, I have one more thing.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the office, your next video call, corporate retreat, team-building exercise, or any workplace gathering that begins with an agenda and ends with absolutely no measurable progress.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for coworkers, bosses, managers, office friends, remote workers, and anyone whose calendar contains more meetings than actual opportunities to do their job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the most important outcome of a meeting is determining that \u003cstrong\u003eanother meeting will be necessary.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52113977344220,"sku":"13192219404498828023","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52113977376988,"sku":"16391444405788132749","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52113977409756,"sku":"28899014558569435179","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52113977442524,"sku":"33484388804101628254","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52113977475292,"sku":"21141307736475213745","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52113977508060,"sku":"28960323671771960919","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52113977540828,"sku":"14055411177224374889","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":52113977573596,"sku":"27755406080789670335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52113977606364,"sku":"12375263904327179698","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52113977639132,"sku":"33559227858400220563","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52113977671900,"sku":"83596314575929890665","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":52113977704668,"sku":"12906577070677561016","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52113977737436,"sku":"28780123515400796119","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52113977770204,"sku":"53766724600470691785","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52113977802972,"sku":"88712144193408621113","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52113977835740,"sku":"25981805034737532063","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52113977868508,"sku":"31371938648133086247","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52113977901276,"sku":"56614738575333943033","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52113977934044,"sku":"21514155386631214364","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52113977966812,"sku":"10859300722464990677","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52113977999580,"sku":"24817003135478392694","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52113978032348,"sku":"27442938613977963916","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52113978065116,"sku":"25058922531109383268","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/13312511578408036346_2048.jpg?v=1787073090"},{"product_id":"office-of-burnout-prevention-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-understaffed-since-forever","title":"Office of Burnout Prevention Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | Understaffed Since Forever","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong\u003eOffice of Burnout Prevention\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnderstaffed Since Forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhich feels appropriate, considering the people responsible for preventing burnout are currently covering three positions, answering emails during lunch, and wondering whether crying in the parking lot counts as a break.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the overworked, understaffed, overscheduled, and increasingly suspicious of phrases like \u003cem\u003e“quick favor,” “all hands on deck,”\u003c\/em\u003e and \u003cem\u003e“we just need everyone to pitch in.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Office of Burnout Prevention understands that work-life balance is an admirable concept. Right up there with inbox zero, adequate staffing, uninterrupted PTO, and leaving work on time because everything is actually finished.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the office, your next staff meeting, casual Friday, conference, work-from-home command center, or anywhere management continues to describe chronic understaffing as a temporary situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for coworkers, managers, teachers, healthcare workers, office staff, small business teams, corporate survivors, and anyone currently doing the work of several people while being encouraged to remember the importance of self-care.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Office remains committed to preventing burnout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnfortunately, we're a little short-staffed right now.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; 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One day you're giving people the benefit of the doubt. The next you're sitting in your car for an extra five minutes because going inside means dealing with somebody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for people whose patience hasn't disappeared entirely. It's simply become a \u003cstrong\u003elimited resource\u003c\/strong\u003e, and frankly, everyone needs to stop wasting it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnnecessary drama? No.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStupid questions with easily searchable answers? Absolutely not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomeone saying \u003cem\u003e“Can I pick your brain?”\u003c\/em\u003e when you've barely had coffee?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour application for additional patience has been denied.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eNational Association of People Who've Had Enough\u003c\/strong\u003e represents the exhausted, the irritated, the over-it, and anyone who has spent enough time dealing with humanity to realize that protecting what's left of their patience is basically an act of conservation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to work, errands, family gatherings, appointments, neighborhood events, or anywhere the general public may attempt to test remaining reserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for sarcastic friends, coworkers, parents, siblings, teachers, overworked humans, and anyone who doesn't necessarily hate people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey've just \u003cstrong\u003ehad enough of them for today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMembership is automatic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePatience is limited. Please use it responsibly.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52114126405852,"sku":"11646779491046793061","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52114126438620,"sku":"12002771711102631623","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114126471388,"sku":"15022631378479836369","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52114126504156,"sku":"65364176897367945543","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52114126536924,"sku":"24253595790723655315","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ 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Navy","offer_id":52114127028444,"sku":"23287378768162137469","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52114127061212,"sku":"32876419407788368856","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114127093980,"sku":"28936332468168677164","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52114127126748,"sku":"11437077065350638871","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/9351554275938946188_2048.jpg?v=1786562288"},{"product_id":"department-of-woods-relocation-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-where-everyone-just-wants-to-be-left-alone","title":"Department of Woods Relocation Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | Where Everyone Just Wants to Be Left Alone","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"142\" data-end=\"192\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"191\"\u003eDepartment of Woods Relocation\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"194\" data-end=\"241\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"194\" data-end=\"241\"\u003eWhere Everyone Just Wants to Be Left Alone.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"243\" data-end=\"381\"\u003eThe mission is simple: identify a suitable patch of woods, relocate yourself there, and dramatically reduce your exposure to other people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"383\" data-end=\"615\"\u003eNo meetings. No traffic. No small talk with strangers. No neighbor stopping by because they “saw you outside.” Just trees, fresh air, questionable cell service, and the deeply underrated pleasure of nobody needing anything from you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"856\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"621\" data-end=\"655\"\u003eDepartment of Woods Relocation\u003c\/strong\u003e is for campers, cabin dwellers, hunters, anglers, hikers, outdoorsy introverts, and anyone who has looked at modern society and thought, \u003cem data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"856\"\u003eYou know what? The woods are starting to make a lot of sense.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"858\" data-end=\"1033\"\u003eWear it camping, hiking, fishing, hunting, around the cabin, on weekend escapes, or during ordinary civilization when you'd simply like everyone to know where you'd rather be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1225\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for outdoor lovers, camping buddies, cabin people, introverts, nature lovers, and anyone whose long-term plan involves fewer neighbors and considerably more trees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1227\" data-end=\"1284\"\u003eApplications for relocation are currently being accepted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003eHuman contact after relocation is strongly discouraged.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1286\" data-end=\"1345\"\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52114151407836,"sku":"13790322271532279083","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114151440604,"sku":"13317003923556006163","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":52114151473372,"sku":"39961796523565434594","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":52114151506140,"sku":"38776612547661750158","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sage","offer_id":52114151538908,"sku":"14360652143049853516","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114151571676,"sku":"20131857101542115100","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52114151604444,"sku":"11322754000774537264","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114151637212,"sku":"40084622156287185599","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52114151669980,"sku":"21203194911985322646","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52114151702748,"sku":"16148835097264075181","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sage","offer_id":52114151735516,"sku":"14232992232418872168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114151768284,"sku":"25602522544298009250","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ 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Heather","offer_id":52114152030428,"sku":"21302161085265431071","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":52114152063196,"sku":"31559193162019037987","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52114152095964,"sku":"33888311720986823678","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sage","offer_id":52114152128732,"sku":"25226562001466302036","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114152161500,"sku":"76104937403380687762","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114152194268,"sku":"30197149471227290585","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114152227036,"sku":"12020710778590449970","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114152259804,"sku":"26380696205268412108","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52114152292572,"sku":"30008330698335315048","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sage","offer_id":52114152325340,"sku":"24496196211668287746","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114152358108,"sku":"16657294175734236450","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114152390876,"sku":"26795977717400741728","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114152423644,"sku":"11142118200955160630","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114152456412,"sku":"10190785538362618113","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52114152489180,"sku":"81887083480661217024","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sage","offer_id":52114152521948,"sku":"16366349104035074066","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114152554716,"sku":"29113788392717428055","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114152587484,"sku":"44991199376501937946","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114152620252,"sku":"18767575834993504737","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114152653020,"sku":"42138517347410364032","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52114152685788,"sku":"21899981371710305629","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sage","offer_id":52114152718556,"sku":"19103961264073740872","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Military Green","offer_id":52114152751324,"sku":"52197865757077726181","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/11636623662126846332_2048.jpg?v=1786561682"},{"product_id":"federal-bureau-of-questionable-decisions-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-committed-to-learning-the-hard-way","title":"Federal Bureau of Questionable Decisions Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | Committed to Learning the Hard Way","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eSome people carefully weigh their options, consider the consequences, and make responsible, well-informed choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis department is for the rest of us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eFederal Bureau of Questionable Decisions\u003c\/strong\u003e recognizes those who have ignored perfectly good advice, confidently chosen the wrong option, said \u003cem\u003e“How bad could it be?”\u003c\/em\u003e and acquired valuable life experience approximately six minutes later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBad idea? Maybe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGood story? Usually.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLesson learned?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet's not get ahead of ourselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for anyone whose personal growth has involved a suspicious number of mistakes, do-overs, expensive lessons, regrettable purchases, questionable relationships, ill-advised projects, and decisions that made perfect sense at the time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to work, the bar, weekend adventures, family gatherings, road trips, DIY projects, or anywhere your decision-making history may already be known to the people present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for friends, coworkers, siblings, spouses, adult kids, chronic risk-takers, and anyone who has earned most of their wisdom through direct and occasionally painful experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bureau remains fully committed to personal development.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnfortunately, we insist on learning everything the hard way.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eThe weekend was supposed to be for resting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, there were errands, laundry, yard work, grocery shopping, family obligations, house projects, social commitments, and approximately fourteen things you didn't have time to deal with during the week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSunday evening arrives and somehow you're \u003cstrong\u003emore tired than you were on Friday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExcellent work, everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eDivision of Weekend Recovery\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who keeps waiting for those mythical two days of rest they've heard so much about. You had plans to relax. Maybe sleep in. Possibly sit down long enough to forget what needed to be done next.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour request has been reviewed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDenied.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it for weekend errands, Saturday projects, Sunday morning coffee, Monday survival, family gatherings, or while staring at the clock wondering how it's already Sunday night when you haven't recovered from last week yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for coworkers, parents, homeowners, weekend warriors, overworked friends, and anyone whose weekends have somehow become an unpaid second shift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Division understands your need for rest and appreciates your request.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnfortunately, recovery has been denied until further notice.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: 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style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; 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data-start=\"176\" data-end=\"211\"\u003eDepartment of Metabolic Affairs\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"214\" data-end=\"254\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"214\" data-end=\"254\"\u003eYour Metabolism Has Been Reassigned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"256\" data-end=\"284\"\u003eWe don't know where it went.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"286\" data-end=\"328\"\u003eWe don't know who authorized the transfer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"330\" data-end=\"453\"\u003eWe just know you used to be able to eat whatever the hell you wanted, and now apparently a cheeseburger requires paperwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"455\" data-end=\"713\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"459\" data-end=\"494\"\u003eDepartment of Metabolic Affairs\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who remembers when staying the same weight involved approximately zero strategic planning. Then one day your metabolism packed up its desk, forwarded its calls, and left you to deal with the consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"738\"\u003eSame food. Same person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"740\" data-end=\"784\"\u003eCompletely different administrative outcome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"786\" data-end=\"935\"\u003eNow there are conversations about protein, steps, portion sizes, and why something you ate three days ago has apparently become a permanent resident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"937\" data-end=\"1157\"\u003eWear it to work, brunch, the gym, weekend errands, family gatherings, or anywhere somebody starts reminiscing about how they could eat an entire pizza in their twenties and wake up the next morning completely unaffected.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1159\" data-end=\"1339\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for friends, coworkers, spouses, siblings, and anyone experiencing the deeply suspicious metabolic policy changes that seem to arrive with getting older.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1341\" data-end=\"1421\"\u003eThe Department has reviewed your request to restore previous metabolic function.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003eUnfortunately, your metabolism has already been reassigned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1423\" data-end=\"1486\"\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52114347065564,"sku":"23213772134922537764","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347098332,"sku":"33281829619354947585","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347131100,"sku":"57025881273056727614","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347163868,"sku":"13778860051606645315","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52114347196636,"sku":"19926689771707583793","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347229404,"sku":"36815106153094292766","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347262172,"sku":"18849088856678332290","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347294940,"sku":"13288353886634495379","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52114347327708,"sku":"29107280863187105242","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52114347360476,"sku":"31860714049242699347","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347393244,"sku":"81022339194859341041","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347426012,"sku":"28416208053005327893","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347458780,"sku":"28757930185251609733","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52114347491548,"sku":"32788369811978128545","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52114347524316,"sku":"16807124942545787937","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347557084,"sku":"24752117864936882962","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347589852,"sku":"26418198570597463463","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347622620,"sku":"33251369792532688403","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52114347655388,"sku":"84032433566923354564","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114347688156,"sku":"33442069722773116516","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347720924,"sku":"50272865783158605742","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347753692,"sku":"36992162005813042841","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347786460,"sku":"30917517022880715310","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52114347819228,"sku":"19033202646210521905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114347851996,"sku":"62637522257214114934","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114347884764,"sku":"68651757268648345352","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114347917532,"sku":"20203374304078350686","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114347950300,"sku":"24716396077984206343","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52114347983068,"sku":"10593122346531909056","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Team Purple","offer_id":52114348015836,"sku":"19442293687518030283","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52114348048604,"sku":"14735605535765665199","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/1374055725192019370_2048.jpg?v=1786561141"},{"product_id":"department-of-weekend-projects-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-one-trip-to-the-hardware-store-is-a-myth","title":"Department of Weekend Projects Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | One Trip to the Hardware Store Is a Myth","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"141\" data-end=\"191\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong data-start=\"156\" data-end=\"190\"\u003eDepartment of Weekend Projects\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"193\" data-end=\"238\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"193\" data-end=\"238\"\u003eOne Trip to the Hardware Store Is a Myth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"240\" data-end=\"274\"\u003eEvery project begins the same way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"276\" data-end=\"303\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"276\" data-end=\"303\"\u003eThis shouldn't take long.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"602\"\u003eThen you discover you bought the wrong size. You're missing one extremely specific screw. The fitting doesn't fit. Something behind the wall absolutely wasn't supposed to look like that, and suddenly you're back in the truck wondering if the same hardware store employee is going to recognize you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"604\" data-end=\"614\"\u003eThey will.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"616\" data-end=\"822\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"620\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eDepartment of Weekend Projects\u003c\/strong\u003e is for DIYers, homeowners, garage tinkerers, reluctant handymen and handywomen, and anyone who has watched a simple Saturday project quietly consume an entire weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"870\"\u003eThe first hardware store trip is for supplies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"872\" data-end=\"911\"\u003eThe second is for the thing you forgot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"913\" data-end=\"998\"\u003eThe third is because apparently there are seventeen versions of the thing you forgot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1054\"\u003eAnything after that is between you and the Department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1056\" data-end=\"1230\"\u003eWear it for garage projects, home renovations, yard work, hardware store runs, DIY disasters, or that supposedly quick repair you started six hours ago and now deeply regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1232\" data-end=\"1479\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for homeowners, DIY enthusiasts, weekend warriors, new homeowners, renovators, and anyone who knows the most important tool for any home improvement project is a vehicle with enough gas to get back to the hardware store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1481\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003eThe Department remains optimistic about your projected completion time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1554\" data-end=\"1608\"\u003eWe'll see you at the hardware store again shortly.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 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Restart it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eWi-Fi down? Restart it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003ePrinter refusing to acknowledge your existence despite being connected, online, full of paper, and specifically purchased to print things?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eRestart everything and begin questioning your life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Technology Frustration\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has entered the correct password seventeen times, watched an update install at the worst possible moment, argued with a smart device, or discovered that the technology designed to make life easier has once again created an entirely new problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThis is for IT professionals, tech support survivors, office workers, remote workers, gamers, coworkers, and ordinary humans who have whispered \u003cem\u003e“Why the fuck aren't you working?”\u003c\/em\u003e at an electronic device as though intimidation might finally establish dominance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eWear it to work, the home office, your next video call, family tech-support duty, or while standing beside the printer waiting for it to reconsider whatever personal issue it currently has with you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for IT professionals, tech workers, coworkers, computer geeks, frustrated office workers, and that unfortunate person everyone calls because \u003cem\u003e“You're good with computers.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThe Department has reviewed your technical issue and identified the recommended solution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHave you tried turning your life off and back on?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 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White","offer_id":52114381963484,"sku":"12138132706642672475","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/9435190103363615989_2048.jpg?v=1787078174"},{"product_id":"department-of-financial-disappointment-unisex-jersey-short-sleeve-tee-keeping-you-humble-since-payday","title":"Department of Financial Disappointment Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee | Keeping You Humble Since Payday","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Financial Disappointment\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKeeping You Humble Since Payday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor one brief, beautiful moment, the bank account looked respectable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen the mortgage hit. The utilities showed up. Groceries cost approximately the GDP of a small nation, something on the car started making a noise, and apparently everyone would like to be paid this week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd just like that, financial confidence has been restored to its usual setting:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAbsolutely not.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eDepartment of Financial Disappointment\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who gets paid, feels wealthy for seventeen minutes, and then watches their money disperse to various organizations with alarming efficiency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou made a budget. You had a plan. You may have even transferred something to savings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat was adorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to work, payday drinks, errands, the grocery store, budget meetings with yourself, or anywhere you're expected to behave like a financially responsible adult while quietly calculating how many days remain until the next direct deposit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for coworkers, friends, spouses, adult kids, budgeters, chronic online shoppers, and anyone who has ever opened their banking app immediately after payday and taken the results personally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Department appreciates your continued financial participation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour paycheck has already been reassigned.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e16.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.90\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e9.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e10.40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":52114405458140,"sku":"16938145983161006126","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52114405490908,"sku":"30890061021347255809","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114405523676,"sku":"28904172177583051430","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52114405556444,"sku":"25048632081015505285","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52114405589212,"sku":"29086482351319492303","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":52114405621980,"sku":"17387789111520782284","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114405654748,"sku":"32541802897155198764","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":52114405687516,"sku":"23360431565587232852","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":52114405720284,"sku":"23801311467968912003","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":52114405753052,"sku":"93163533679958308420","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114405785820,"sku":"35484640923444809631","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":52114405818588,"sku":"96081798473142122487","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":52114405851356,"sku":"10393770389964583794","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114405884124,"sku":"14397499437324833451","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114405916892,"sku":"13001129711212018989","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114405949660,"sku":"17313770273391383666","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":52114405982428,"sku":"16301986305889600933","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114406015196,"sku":"98798958570930246274","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":52114406047964,"sku":"17335688388151213901","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":52114406080732,"sku":"85837888228661156610","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":52114406113500,"sku":"33356308467623187635","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":52114406146268,"sku":"30880190860027104719","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":52114406179036,"sku":"29905279972012787995","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0785\/4479\/7916\/files\/16184538149564105663_2048.jpg?v=1786562292"},{"product_id":"f-ck-off-im-fishing-funny-bass-fishing-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Fuck Off I'm Fishing Bass Unisex T-Shirt | Funny Sarcastic Bass Fishing Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\" data-start=\"2638\" data-end=\"2788\"\u003eThey are not an opening for negotiation, errands, quick favors, family obligations, or whatever bullshit somebody just remembered they need help with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2790\" data-end=\"2948\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2790\" data-end=\"2814\"\u003eFuck Off I'm Fishing\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the bass angler who has a rod, a tackle box, and absolutely no intention of being useful to anyone for the foreseeable future.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2950\" data-end=\"3115\"\u003eThe phone is on silent. You've found your spot. And \"one more cast\" remains a completely legitimate unit of time regardless of how many times you've already said it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3117\" data-end=\"3187\"\u003eBecause being unreachable isn't an unfortunate side effect of fishing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3189\" data-end=\"3218\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3189\" data-end=\"3218\"\u003eIt's one of the benefits.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3220\" data-end=\"3449\"\u003eThis one's for bass anglers, weekend fishermen and fisherwomen, fishing buddies, and anyone whose happiest moments involve a stretch of water, something biting at the other end of the line, and nobody asking when they'll be home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3451\" data-end=\"3630\"\u003eIt also makes a wonderfully antisocial gift for the person who doesn't need more stuff nearly as much as they need everyone to leave them the hell alone long enough to go fishing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; 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#ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eLength, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e8.60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd 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Comfortable enough for everyday wear and sarcastic enough to make your position perfectly clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also makes a funny gift for farmers, tractor owners, ranchers, agriculture workers, or that one person in the family who considers a tractor a perfectly reasonable solution to most problems.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic long sleeve T-shirt for everyday wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBold tractor graphic with sarcastic farm humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGreat for cooler days, farm work, errands, or casual wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFunny gift for farmers, ranchers, tractor enthusiasts, and country folks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs exceptionally well with dirt, coffee, and a rapidly diminishing supply of patience\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFair Warning:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't Make Me Run You Over With My Tractor.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: 100% cotton (fiber content varies for different colors)\u003cbr\u003e.: Medium fabric (6.0 oz\/yd² (203 g\/m²))\u003cbr\u003e.: Classic fit\u003cbr\u003e.: Sewn-in label\u003cbr\u003e.: Runs smaller than usual\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; 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